| I don't know who else to talk to. I don't know why I feel like I have to talk. I'm feeling more alone now than I ever have before. Looking at all of these old entries from high school and college just remind me of how much I haven't changed. They remind me of how I don't learn from my mistakes. They remind me of all of the good times of my life, when things seemed simple, and wonderful, and perfect. And now... now I'm in a state of total self-realization.
Everyone tells me that this time of your life is very hard. I never believed it before now. I don't know what to say, or how to explain this. I'm scared. I'm scared of leaving the only people I'm close to behind. I'm scared of moving on, of change. I'm scared of being alone. I feel hopeless, which is a terrible waste, because I know that my life is not bad. I know that. I know that everyone experiences what I'm experiencing, but... well, I guess that doesn't make it any easier. I'm regretting things. I'm regretting people I didn't get closer to, I'm regretting people I got too close to, I'm regretting decisions that have got me to where I am now.
I'm lost.
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| My horoscope for today:
"Your thoughts are flying off into uncharted regions and you don't need
to help this process with substances like
drugs or alcohol. Today you
can mentally travel anywhere on your own. Others may see that you are
dreamier than usual and they might express concern for your well-being.
Don't buy into anyone else's fear; it's okay that you are on a short
trip to Fantasy Land."
hehe.
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| Aggggghhhhh!!!! Being sick sucks. I'm pretty damn sick too, I dont want
to do anything, I WANT to sleep, but it's not exactly comfortable, i
cant even breath out of my nose. Ugh- i want to get better REALLY bad.
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| I feel like shit physically and emotionally. I need to reevaluate my life. In the most serious way.
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| Ugh- skit show has been draining me all week, but it's so nice to be
back at school. Come see the show tomorrow at 7:30, and Sat. at 7:30.
It should be funny! "should" being the key word, lol.
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